Camp Nebagamon

By Noah Stein

Last summer as I roamed the Hill one G-Swim, I spotted a teary-eyed Logger approaching his counselor asking to talk. I knew the camper was about to head out on his first trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area and figured this had something to do with it. Curious about how this would play out, I did what any engaged camp director would do… I posted up for some good old-fashioned eavesdropping! 

The tears in the campers eyes told the whole story– he was nervous about the trip– but sitting across from his counselor at a picnic table the camper didn’t lead with his feelings. (Because what 6th grade boy would?) Instead he opened with a simple question:

“Can I please just drop off the trip?”

What a tough place to start for this counselor, I thought. It’s so hard to sit across from a crying kid, especially when we know that we have the power to make the crying stop with a few simple words. This counselor had a tough decision to make about his next move.

“Sure, I’ll go talk to the trip staff and help you drop off the trip…” was not what the counselor said, but he easily could have! Instead, he did some empathetic digging. The rest of the conversation went a little like this:

“It can be hard to go on a longer trip for the first time. A lot of campers feel nervous beforehand. Can you tell me how you’re feeling about it?” He asked. 

And then the tears really started coming.

“It’s too long! I’ve only been on cabin trips before, and four nights is just too many. I’m not ready yet. I’ll go next year. I’m gonna feel so homesick. I just can’t do it!”

Where would the counselor take it from here? I wondered.  I considered grabbing some popcorn to fully lock in for the show, but before I could run to the Big House, the counselor responded: 

“Yeah man, thinking about all of that at once is tough, I get it. What do you know about the Boundary Waters?” 

“Just that it’s a canoe trip.”

“Dude, it’s the coolest place ever. You know Lake Superior?”

The camper nodded. 

“Well, it’s above Lake Superior, like, right on the border with Canada. Have you been to Canada?” 

“No”

“Sometimes when you’re paddling up there, you might even be on a lake that literally borders Canada”

“Really?”

“Really.”

The camper’s breath slowed as did the flow of his tears. 

“What was your cabin trip like last year?” The counselor asked.

“Pretty fun, I liked canoeing on the Namekagon River and the food was really good.”

“Oh yeah, I love trip food too,” related the counselor. “Wait, you said you liked canoeing on the Nam? I have some great news about the Boundary Waters. You get to canoe on some incredible lakes and then camp along the shore every night. The sunsets out there are wild!”

It went on like this for a bit. The camper pleaded a bit more with the counselor to drop off the trip and the counselor just kept affirming the camper’s feelings, asking questions, and painting a picture of what the trip would be like. And then it got really good. 

“You know,” the counselor continued, “I’ve been coming to Camp for a long time, and one thing I love about it is every summer I get to try some new things, and take some risks. I’m sure you’ve pushed yourself out of your comfort zone already in the few years you’ve been here right?”

Another nod.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but sometimes right before I take that first step it can feel really tough. I worry about all the unknowns. Then, I take the step, take on the challenge, and pretty much every time I do I come out on the other side feeling glad I did. It makes me feel really good about myself.” 

THIS GUY IS COMING FOR MY JOB!

“I know this is hard, but why don’t you take the afternoon and think about it before you really put your foot down. Something tells me that you might end up having a great time out there.” 

There was a fist bump and then the two went their separate ways. The next morning when the trip van pulled away, the camper was in it. He was still a bit nervous upon departure, but he was heading off into the woods on an adventure more comfortable with the challenge

Days later when he returned the tears had been replaced with a grin that ran Not just a, “that was a lot of fun” grin. It was an, “I can take on a challenge, bring on the next one” grin… though he did have a lot of fun too!

We don’t teach our staff to “just make the tears stop.” We teach them to sit with campers when the tears are flowing. Those moments are ripe for growth. 

We don’t believe in “rescuing kids from difficult situations.” We believe in supporting kids as they work through challenges. When something hard comes up and we provide care without solving the problem for them, we show them that we know they can do it, not that they need saving.

We don’t “concierge” or “helicopter counsel.” We pave the way for campers to take responsibility, giving them autonomy in just about everything we do.

Think cabin cleanup, for example. Sure, it would probably increase efficiency if the counselors swept the cabins and made the campers’ beds… it might even make the cabins cleaner if we did it that way! But then how would campers learn to do something that they don’t want to do, or to be responsible for their personal and shared space?

A member of our trip staff might be inclined to prepare each night’s dinner on their own and serve it to the campers rather than giving the kids a chance to help. The risk of culinary mishaps might be elevated when campers cook, but if they don’t get to try, how will they learn how to cook and to take responsibility for the fact that someone needs to step up and get dinner ready? 

When two campers in a cabin don’t get along, it might seem an easy solution to simply place them in different cabins next year. But then how will we teach campers to resolve conflicts and give them a chance to take responsibility for their personal relationships?

Any parent or childcare professional can say those few words and make the tears stop… but wouldn’t that be more about getting ourselves out of a tough situation than helping out the kid in the long run? We can also do what that counselor did: with patience and poise, sit with those tough feelings and show the kid we believe in them.